Now why is that when people die they take on some mythical properties and everyone forgets anything bad that they did? Even the miserable, mean, abusive person in life can over time take be rewarded almost saintly status in the months and years after they are dead. If the truth be told it gets on my nerves. I once upset some relatives at a family get together by saying that the only thing I remembered about my grandad was that he was always grumpy and he shouted a lot (which was the truth!).
I beleive that we should remember the dead in their entirety. After all wouldn't life be boring if we were all perfect and all the same? Isn't it our negative qualities as well as our good qualities that make up our personalities? That make us who we are? I know I have some good qualities, but I also know that I am grouchy, I get stressed out, I am horrible when I have PMT, I can't keep my house clean and I get obsessively annoyed by noise, I constantly compare myself to others! Those things are part of me just as much as anything else - my love of music, my obsessive list making, my silly sense of humour etc. I only hope that in death people remember all of me the bad bits as well as the good.