Friday, August 12, 2005

Believe in yourself!

Whilst I was washing up this morning I found myself thinking about the series Jamies School Dinners that was recently repeated on E4. I was thinking especially about the dinner lady called Nora and how she blossomed over the course of the series. At the beginning of the series she was a difficult and narrow minded, set in her ways. By the end she was a much more vibrant, confident woman whose horizons had well and truly broadened.

This beggars the question would we all flourish given the right encouragement, nurturing and opportunities? I suspect the answer to that question is YES! The trouble is that a lot of us have not had that in our background and are not likely to have a tv crew and celebrity chef whisk in and change our lives. So where will we get that nurturing and encouragement from? Either we carry on as we are in our ordinary little ruts of disatisfaction or we find a way to provide it for ourselves. Sounds difficult? Well maybe that is half the problem, if we learned to love OURSELVES when we are young then maybe the world would be abetter place.

Yesterday in a discussion with my son I found myself saying "a lot of people believe that you cannot truly love anyone else if you do not love yourself". He looked surprised and then I realised how true that statement is. There have been times in my life when I have been very unhappy and during these times I have disliked myself, found myself unattractive and considered myself to be a fraud and a failure. I have been my own biggest critic. Some of this might stem from negative messages received in the past, but I take full responsibility for sending myself those messages as an adult. I am now choosing toview myself in a different light. Sure I still have that little critical voice inside my head that pops up with annoying regularity, the one that says things like "you're not good enough", "you are unattractive", "noone will ever love you" etc. But when that voice pops up I have to learn to recognise where it comes from, give it the voice of the person who first said it to me then decide that I don't want to believe them anymore - after all are they so great and successful? If the voice is my own then I have to offer up evidence to the contrary, I believe that eventually I can make these negative voices subside and replace them with positive ones.

Affirmation for the day - I am becoming a positive and successful person.

I found this great quote at

Anxiety and fear strips away courage and makes great performances impossible. Doubt makes even the best decisions feel difficult and causes procrastination. Anger rips your focus away from your goals.
Frustration can only serve to make you quit.
Guilt makes it impossible to enjoy any successes you achieve.
Jealousy and envy create dishonesty, hate and corruption.

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